Adult vs children’s criteria for spouse

Ok, so from previous post I have said that if you want to get married, you should find the person who are suitable to become good spouse instead of good friend. So, I can elaborate further from what I understand, what differentiate children from adult is the mindset.

Adults are expected (or inclined to) to take long-term consequence and responsibility for their action. Hence, they are expected to spare some thoughts for anything they do which involve long-term effects (like marriage, job, and ministry) for themselves and people around them.

Children, in contrast, usually thought only short-term benefits for themselves and lack of critical thinking to plan for the future and consequences of their action. Even if some of them aware what are the most important things, they usually failed to translate it in their action because of lack of self-control. This thing also what distinguishes adult from children.

Here are example of adult’s requirements (sorted on most important to least important) when they are looking for spouse:

For adult men

1) Have similar beliefs and values (in religion, politics and family) or if not, have a tolerance to accept the differences without resulting on debate on every disagreement.

2) Family come from same or similar background (same culture or race) and can accept each others without any existing prejudice for their son or daughter-in-law (their job, education, social status (from wealthy, middle-class, or worker), race, religion, Chinese zodiac and so on).

3) Ability to become good wife (i.e. have already used to daily housekeeping such as budgeting (for shopping), cooking and child care)

4) Have same interests during leisure time (usually like sports and video games), compatible personality (not much nagging), and lifestyle (especially the use of money, time, and friends)

5) All other miscellaneous physical things, like age, beauty, body curve, etc

For adult women

1) Have similar beliefs and values (in religion, politics and family) or if not, have a tolerance to accept the differences without resulting on debate on every disagreement.

2) Family come from same or similar background (same culture or race) and can accept each others without any existing prejudice for their son or daughter-in-law (their job, education, social status (from wealthy, middle-class, or worker), race, religion, Chinese zodiac and so on).

3) Ability to become good husband. Either come from wealthy family, have a good educational background or good career (with salary that able to feed at least 4 people), and have detail plan (about 3-5 years in advance) about future study or work.

4) Have same interests during leisure time (usually like shopping, fashion, and travel), compatible personality (good listener), and lifestyle (especially the use of money, time, and friends)

5) All other miscellaneous physical things, like height and strength (or body posture).

For childish men and women – Reverse from 5) to 1)

So, if you have people who said they want a spouse you should ask what is their first criteria. From there, you can determine how serious they are.

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About edwin2026

I am currently Indonesian expatriate working in Singapore, graduated from Nanyang Technological University with major in Computer Science in 2009. I am also working as software engineer, developing and maintaining systems for Singapore civil service. I write this blog to share to readers about my life principle on various aspects, like religion, politics, business, relationship, and technology. I am interested in alternative worldviews because I found that many things taught to us by establishments are not true and harmful. My dream is to become self-sufficient in food and energy. Hopefully, someday I can have my own fruit garden and my own power plant and able to sell my electricity to power company. I hope readers enjoy my blog.
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