So, this will be my last post for this topic. As you grow older, you realized that majority of the people who reached adulthood have a good understanding of general rules of life. Of course, those general rules are not perfect, but it is a good platform for most people to regulate their life. Instead of starting from blank state, those default rules enable people to manage complexity of life. These rules of life can be found from ancient religious scriptures, classic philosophies and natural observation.
Of course, the wise people are also aware of the limitation of general rules (It is unable to capture outliers (90-99th percentiles). The thing that differentiate wise people from the mass is the ability to find the solution to handle outliers which is reasonably satisfactory for many parties without compromising those general rules. Here, I want to offer my humble opinion to tackle the issue of gender relation.
First of all, I should acknowledge that as a believer, God the Father has established the headship of men over women across three pillars of society which are established by Him (church, state and family). Lord Jesus has chosen twelve apostles to be the head of the church and not a single of them are women. From my memory, throughout ancient Israelite history, God had never ordained any single queen to be ruler of Israel (Of course, Jezebel was not God’s choice…and Esther was not the ruler of nation of Israel…). Apostle Paul denied the right for women to teach inside church and confirmed the husband to be the head of the wife.
Many people who protest against this ordained right for men are typically approaching it with mentality of meritocracy, tooth and claw, or warfare (might is right, so whoever have greater social status, earn bigger paycheck, or greater physical strength, will rule with force). They are thinking ordained right granted right to exploit the people under authority. Such worldview make healthy relationship among human race are impossible. That thought is a source of constant dispute which is a hell on earth. The ordained right does not entitle abuse because it come with a set of ordained responsibilities. If headship is continuously disrupted because of performance issue, there will be constant disorder as it make long-term planning impossible.
However, this birthright also enable men to be secure without constant need to ‘prove’ his manhood over his wife. Granted that for most men, God granted the ability to be more driven and capable in the workforce compared to their wives as I believe He intended most women to be homemakers (Proverbs 31). However, as with other things, outliers still exist. God gave some women like Lightning talents that normally associated with manhood (ability to earn good money, STEM or athletic talents). If we think the performance in the workforce as main factor deciding the headship, then Lightning should be the head of the family (which is not allowable).
Hence, we should then discard the idea that the headship always equals competency to be breadwinner. We can see from animal kingdom where the lioness is the one that hunt for the food for majority and hence she is the breadwinner (See this). So, there is actually no restriction for Lightning to be breadwinner (since such thing exists in nature…) as long as it is approved by her husband. However, the key here is that Lightning need to acknowledge the headship of her husband by other means. The lioness let the lion take the first portion of the prey. If it is translated into human, it means that the wife need to let the husband enjoy the first portion of fruits of her labor.
The key idea here is reciprocity. The superiority does not entitle ability to exploit or boasting but as a channel to serve and contribute to others. The same with our Lord Jesus (who is the real Alpha) who washed the feet of the disciples although He is the Son of God. It is the same for alpha females, I do not care whether they are the lioness of the family or warrior goddess. Lightning should reject the toxic idea of power and manhood role equals independence. For Scriptures said that women is not independent of men and men is not independent of women (1 Corinthians 11: 11). Men and women need to corporate to build future society through family and they are better doing so by the adhering to God’s command and not by constant warfare.